black fortune~~~

Recently, really go through a lot of unfortunate: black fortunes~~~

Just like a moment ago: i was just bitting my first mouth of Curry Puff, Librarian on patrol immediately discovered me, ask me several times to go outside of the library to finish my food . I said i promised not to eat again, she insisted me. Lao er help me in pleading. Finally she said:“ok,keep ur food inside the bag."

I have been seeing a lot of person happily and secretly munching their food in the library, however i will always be the luckiest.I had been caught,even just with my first bite of curry puff.

Haizzzzz.......Just for ur information: My instinct told me that when i was intended to eat the food, i would definitely be caught.

It happened.

I really do not hope that such kind of gut feelings follow me, please do not show my bad instinct is right during the super important events, like my coming next two days which is the starting of my exams for 5 modules.

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

路

自我懂事以来，一直都认为成长的路不好走。

人的一辈子就是在成长着，直到心脏停止跳动，脑死亡的那一刻。然后就轮回去了。

最近，我度过了很多令我很心烦的事儿。

我怀疑我自己的学习能力，怀疑自己的以后当护士的本事，怨天尤人。

后悔来到一个异乡的国度，过着一个不想长大的生活。

事实就是我已永远离开家了，事实就是我已经长大了，事实就是我。。。。。。得学习如何独挡一面了。

我只剩一年半的时间琢磨我的依赖，我的小孩儿脾性。

一年半后的我就是一个的负起养家的大人了。 个性总不能像个丫头似的吧！

现在的我："我不会有完美的人生，有好多苦会迎面而来呢！”

傻瓜啊，

要拿得起，放得下。

Underage

Just went downstairs to buy food.

An adolescent at the age of 14 to 15 years old dashed towards me and asked: "Can you help me to buy cigratte?"

My reply was: "i am underage, sorry."

Her respond: "OK....???Thank You."

Haha, am i a mature "lady" to her?

And, sad to see a little girl adopts the smoking habit and have to ask for help in order to meet her need.

城市孩子与乡村孩子？

实在受不了城市孩子的作风！

是我太认真，还是你缺乏热诚？

你的参与能够让事情更完美，为什么你就不能积极点？

默默忍受着。。。。。

选择一声不吭。

我何时才会爆发呢？

没有机会，就算有此机会，也于事无补。

Physiologically & psychologically exhausted.

Missing them....

These two weeks for bioscience, Dr Ponraj is teaching us topic related to aging.

Today he said something that make me recall & recall & recall.

Dr P: "Do not dump your parents to Old Folks Home, people down there cannot help much to take care of the elderly well, because you yourself also find it is very difficult only to take care of your parents."

He showed us a youtube video clip related to dementia. A painful clip.

All in all, what i learn from those few lesson is: AGING IS STRIKING

I definitely will not abandon my parents, so do my parents do not abondon their parents.

Our ah ba & ah ma sacrify a lot to bring us up. They deserve to have their children to be filial with them!!!

@@@@@@@

@@@@@

@@@

@

Last two days, in fact every Saturday i call my ah ma, Sunday i call my ah ba, chat with them. Despite this, i still miss them a lot......

Here they are, my family. My father, my mother and my sister in Malaysia.

My ah ba, ah bi and ah ma

Ah ba & i in front of Batu Gajah Train Station

My lovely ah ma

My younger sister, ah bi (of course i will miss u. if u c this, ah jie apologise to u for being so fierce to u all the time)

&&&&my eldest brother, he & i, emmmm, if have chance, i will show him.

TOUCH WOOD!!!!!!!

Ah, one interesting thing to share.

These two weeks, NYP Group B nursing students are working extremely hard in preparing themself to face the coming BCLS test. After passing the test, we will get our license and it means when we encounter any victim collapses in anywhere down the street, perhaps, we are eligible to dash to rescue him or her.

Today, after practicing for the BCLS, i went to toilet and when the time i opened the toilet door and tended to walk off, i met the Technical Service Officer (TSO), Ms Emily. She is been a very nice lady, to me. Every time when i meet her, she will inquire after me about all the practical tests that are being held from time to time.

She asked me:" How is ur practice?"

Me, answered:"I need more strength to do compression on the manikin's heart, no energy."(Consequeces of not being fit)

Then i continued to ask Ms Emily:" Is it very hard to do on a real person also?"

Her Immediate Response was:"TOUCH WOOD"....................

^^^^^^^^^^^^

This remind me, when i go for posting to the hospitals, i will straigthly wear my student nurse's uniform, walking up and down, taking MRT, travel to and fro.

This is because, most of my clothes are being handwashed by myself, if i change clothes, i will have to do extra washing.

Consequently, just because of the laziness, everytime wearing that uniform, i will wear it in a sense of burden, afraid that i will encounter victim collapse in front of me and because i am a hospital staff and public who will not care who you are even if you are just a noob student nurse,and for them as long as you are wearing a uniform that indicate you are a hospital staff, and then that particular "uniform person" will be looking forward as the only one who can rescue the victim by commencing bcls for him or her.

...............thoughts that always appeared to me when i wear the uniform. Due to my laziness and when the time i wear the uniform, i will always pray hard that nothing will be happening. Therefore, in the coming posting, i should train myself to change and wash............HOPEFULLY I WILL LA, HAHA!!! Laziness please do not invade me!!!

The main reason why i scare to encounter such a problem is because (In fact i think everyone who knows how to rescue victim's life through BCLS before EMS (Emergency Medical Service) attend, will think the same way like me???)

• do not know what the person might having, ie infection....

and if

• victim is not being able to be rescued?? Public might point their fingers on you, blaming that you are the one who worsen the condition. I don't know.....

• Hi hi, and one more funny point to add in,
• single and available girls or maybe boys might mind to give out their first "KISS", when the rescuer has to commence breathing to the victim through mouth to mouth delivering.

Commence or not to???

It depends on individual's perception.

Anyway, i think most of us will do that in such an emergency condition that deal with a person's life & death, as the spirit of being part of the healthcare professional is to save life besides aiming to implement healthy lifestyle of the nation.

救人一命，深造七级浮屠。

These pictures are copied from some friend's profiles. Just to give an image to those who haven't seen me wearing my student nurse's uniform before, here i am. Each picture that appears the same girl is me. Different from Malaysia nurse's dress code, Singapore nurse's dress code does not have nurses' hat that from past till now which suspiciously treated as an 挡邪品, especially useful for nurses who work at night shifts. Haha!

Happy Nurses's Day to Singapore Nurses

Words shown down here are copied from someone's blog, i think they are worthwhile to share.

From a nurse (David's Blog),

I chose to be a nurse for the smiles on the elder’s faces,
for the appreciation of the cared,
and the joy in lives restored.
For a dose of sleepless nights sponging patients,
an injection of adrenaline resuscitating,
and an infusion of fulfillment when one discharges home.
For the love we share for our patients which surpasses mere human understanding,
for the sacrifices we make to reach and achieve goals aspired.
For we are strong and committed,
willful and spirited,
caring and compassionate.
I chose to be a nurse,
because of nurses.

...........................

.............

.....

..

......................................It is when events like these, changes lives forever. Recently, I had a patient who passed away after a month in the ICU. He had a bad heart, a bad lung, and bad blood supply to the brain. But it’s his daughter that I recall so clearly. She witnessed how we resuscitated her father, dialyzed him, sponged, cleaned, fed, repositioned, counseled, encouraged, reassured, advised families, educated, listened to, cared for. She got a good glimpse of what nursing was all about. And one day she said, ‘I want to be a nurse, just like all of you’. We were her Optimus Prime, we were her Bumble Bee.

So again, I managed to relish another movie or a childhood past to something nursing worthy. Little things we do, or the routines we dread each day we drag our heavy heads to work, is noticed. We change lives, we are catalysts of influence. It is events like these, that makes me feel proud being a nurse.

From a doctor (CCC's Blog), Related title is 女王， her link is:

http://hersketchbook.blogspot.com/

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Today is Singapore Nurses' Day.

Different from Worldwide Nurses Day which is on 12 of May (in the memorable of the birth of Modern Nursing Founder: Florence Nigthingale),

Singapore celebrate it on 1st of August, because this dates marks the beginning of the development of nursing in Singapore.

Nurses Day celebration is mainly to thank the unsung heroes for the contribution to the health and well-being of the nation.

Decided to blog out something with regard to today's date because just received a message from my coursemate, wishing me: ｈａｐｐｙ　ｎｕｒｓｅｓ’　ｄａｙ

Being a NURsE isn't about money...

It's about being who we are...

No book can teach you how to cry with a patient...

No class can teach you how to tell a family member that their parents have died or are dying...

No professor can teach you how to find dignity in giving someone a bed bath...

A nurse is not about the pills, or the charting..

It's is about being able to love people when they are at their weakest moments.

You,

Happy Nurses' Day

Last but not least,

i like this sentence:

一个护士，“是南丁格尔提着油灯从遥远的古战场走来，她微笑着驱散病人眉头的阴郁。”

I hope Nurses in Singapore are not only being respected on the celebration day itself .

Their importance in healthcare are deserved to be valued all the time.

Ｒｅｃｅｎｔ Ｌｉｆｅ

最近的生活很紧凑，什么东西都聚集在一起，而我还有闲情在写文章。

PresentationS, BCLS, Semestral EXAM，然后得到医院服务一个月，然后哈哈哈哈可以回家。

缺席了一个星期之后，又回到学校过着打仗的生活了。

虽然觉得压力重重，　还是挺享受如此的忙碌。

＋＋＋＋＋

＋＋＋＋

＋＋＋

＋＋

＋

最近，老师们总共播放了三部（其实是两部半啦），它们是：Identity（说述一个患有 Dissociative Identity Disorder, 简称ＤＩＤ），outbreak（说述某种　infection的爆发）和那半部　beautiful mind（说述一个患了paranoid schizophrenia的天才教授）。

坐在lecture theatre　看电影真的爽！！haha，　因为荧幕很大，还有能与同学们一起为剧情的内容显示高低起伏，　一起笑，一起喊，一起怕。。。。

还有还有，那个BCLS (Basic Cardiopulmonary Life Support)，　学了三天，累死人了！！一会儿cpr，一会儿breathing ，　一会儿cpr，　做完之后，结果就是手臂，腿还有屁股疼得受不了！　听过一位pharmacology老师说过，　明年 year 3，　如果成绩好的话，就能学ACLS (Advanced Cardiopulmonary Life Support)如何火速地救垂死的病患, 那一个比bcls更为紧张。　

好，到此为此了。

Group work??

某天，坐在图书馆为明天的presentation ICA (In-Course-Assessment), 孤军作战地 作最后冲刺。

一边做，一边听着坐在我旁边的那一群人如何设法将他们的project做到最好。当中听到，因为有一个组员不怎么合作，他们每一个都对那位没出席的组员感到激愤，批评他的不负责任。

好妒忌他们哦！！！

我何时何能才会有像他们那样地极具团队精神的小组呢？

渴望着。

害怕

很害怕有一天，

因为我的疏忽，

病人本来能够得救的，

却因为我的粗心，踏上亡泉之路。

不行，我绝对不能让此事发生！！

所以，

芷婷啊！

你得读好你该读的，

做好你该做的，

学好你该学的，

因为，

不久将来的你，就是dealing with life & death 的医护人员了。

不能懈怠。

生病记

• P/S: 还是要感谢静文姐姐（我的佛友），那天我痒得受不了，最后打个电话给妈妈诉苦，哪知妈妈打了电话给一直以来都很照顾我的静文姐姐，她在我病得最困难的时候过来救我，把我接回她家照顾。谢谢你，静文姐姐。

• 还有感谢房东夫妇帮我买止痒药和煮中药。(当时很害怕房东会因为流感严重怕会传染而不要我和爱琳，因为我们俩都生病了，后来他们的儿子也有发烧。幸亏只是我吓想的，人家才没有我想的那样）

• 对不起爸爸妈妈，我这突如其来的生病吓到你们了。那天我忍不住打了给妈妈说我很辛苦，全身（因为药物……我想应该是药物造成的？）都出满风团，很痒， 结果妈妈打了给静文姐姐。原先我责怪妈妈为何麻烦静文姐姐，还闹了一下脾气。妈妈说，要不她现在马上去处理护照，冲过来，要不爸爸过来。 最后，静文姐姐带我去看中医，服了十贴药后，完全痊愈了。 对不起妈妈那时候对你发了这么大的脾气，请你原谅我。

• 哈哈，还有一件糗事：

• 有一晚我重看另一位医生，因为中午看的医生打过来问我烧退了没，我说没呢，还很高，之前我对她说我有对某种但不记得哪一类的antibiotic药物敏感，所以她没开任何抗生素给我。晚上八点半之后，她打过来时建议我吃tamiflu(现在这药主要是拿来对抗H1N1流感的）， 病情不能再拖了，最好服用抗生素。

• 她说她的诊所关了，所以晚上的时候，在爱琳的陪伴下，我只好另求医诊， 高烧达40.2度。护士赶紧给我mask，叫我坐到最后面的角落去。老医生开了一大堆药物， 给了我七天mc,还千吩咐万叮咛我别上学去害人。

• 这个医生说话的语气很不客气，凶得不得了，问我对药物有否敏感时。我说有但不记得。 结果给他训了一顿，说什么我对自己的身体那么不负责任。（我那时候发誓不会要再踏入他的诊所，哪知敏感发生时，还是要去见他）

• 第二天，退烧了，那间我晚上去看的诊所的护士打电话过来问我烧退了没，我高兴地说退了。二话不说就赶紧收拾东西到学校去。同时，我的室友，她也发烧了。（可怕的传染）

• 在学校时，整个人还很虚弱，四点多的时候还上着课时，发现身体开始发痒。回到家晚上的时候，身体慢慢地长风团了。挨了一个晚上。

• 那晚，上网distract自己对痒的痛苦，在msn遇到立俊，对他说了一大堆所有病人都有的苦，那时候这位小弟还千方百计地安慰我，而我呢，他说一，我跟他反驳说二。谢了，立俊，谢谢你当晚的安慰。

• 过了痒不欲生的一晚，第二天决定去回那一天晚上去的诊所。

• 真正的糗事来了：因为生理和心理都很很辛苦（心灵上的不适有一半是源自于我小组的事情所造成的，因为下个星期就有两个presentations要准备，晚上痒得不行的时候还给他们每一位发个简讯说一定要有小组讨论，结果早上的时候一个组员告诉我只有她一个人到，当时我简直是气疯了，他们怎么那么不负责任啊！！），所以在那倾盆大雨的早晨，我哭哭啼啼地走去看病，哭哭啼啼地看医生。

• 不懂是不是我哭得太激动了，我问了那个医生（因为他开了止痒的，退红斑点的，两个药物太强，又得开止呕吐的）：How much do u want to charge me?

• 医生说：FOC， Free of charge.

• 领了药过后，又哭哭啼啼地走回家。（爸爸说我还真的是“勇敢”， 我当时还穿插了不少在诊所和街道的人群，回想过去当时还真糗，那时候的我也没想这么多，希望他们不会记得我啦：@P）

• 因为实在太，太，太担心我下个星期两In-Course-Assessment presentations 会来不及准备好，生病那段期间就打了个电话给personal mentor跟她说我的allergy reaction 比之前的发烧更严重（她之前也有打给我慰问病情），预定下个星期整个星期都不会好了，整个星期都不能上学了，所以presentations不能做了。 我打给她那天是星期三， 老医生给我的mc只是到下个星期一。之后的病情康复或否还是未知数，我却预料下个星期肯定不能好。 哈哈。

• 老师才没我那么白痴呢，挂了电话之后，她又打回过来问我的MC是到什么时候，presentations 是什么时候，我说星期二和四，她说:"should be no problem what, ,ur mc is untill next monday, afterthat u still can come, anyway, u should see the progression of ur illness 1st, then only we c what can we do, alright, rest well,....blablabla)

• DIONG〉〉〉！！！···有一点被猜穿谎言的感觉。

• 生病时就爱想有的没的，那么烂的点子也想得出，真佩服当时的我那么有勇气打给老师说出这么烂的点子。

• 吃了那些西药搞得我昏沉沉的，开始感觉救了我的中药厉害，感谢老中医（他真的很老了，80多岁，当时我问了他很多中西药会不会有contraindicate之类的，怀疑了他老人家的医术，对不起医师。）

• 我总共花了：25+70+16.40=111.40， 还有乱七八糟的补助品，大概是140吧。新币啊，心疼死了！！换回去马币就是大概350块！！！看了两家西药诊所GP（general practitioner)，一个老老的中医。最后还是古老的中医艺术给治好我。

• 现在，除了那贵得要命的Tamiflu吃完之外，我有一大包的药物，唉，只好安慰自己说，可以拿来当着学pharmacology 咯.

除了我之外，我的朋友老大她也生病了，还有很多很多同学也生病了，就连在马的哥哥也被他的室友传染了。

H1N1已经变成普通流感了，随时大家都有机会沾上这个会令病情很辛苦的流感。 我怀疑我那时候的症状有其类似，但我没有喉咙痛。都不知哪儿沾来的病，传来传去的。

生病特多感言，所以特别多的事可记载，，希望以后再看回现在写的会另有一番回味。

唉，见过一次鬼，就怕黑了。

幸亏，一个星期后，同时间发病的病友都痊愈了，有抗体了！！yeah!!!

最后，与大家共勉之：好好照顾自己。ＴＡＫＥ　ＣＡＲＥ

讨厌

讨厌生病的感觉。

有史以来，在外头病得最严重的一次：发烧了三天：最高记录达40.2度，Type 1 allergic reaction: Hive/ urticaria, 然后同时间那该死的生理期找上我！！三合一，把我搞得不成人样了。

超级讨厌！所以，

生病了才知道健康的可贵。

生病了才知道平时能够好好吃饭的好处，减肥故意不吃的坏处。

生病了才知道没有妈妈的唠叨和照顾是多么的痛苦。

生病了才知道除了病痛的苦之外，没人关心和理睬，心灵上非常折磨的苦！

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现在，能深深地体会到一个病人为什么叫病人了！

嗯，我要当一个好护士，不能代替他们受苦，

最起码也要让他们的心灵镇定，

让他们知道：you are not alone

你并不是一个人，还有我跟你一起打这一场战！！！

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