潦倒的生活-你给我去死！二十岁，迟来的开始！

想起自己在新加坡的第二年，比起第一年，斗志少了，惰性多了。

所以考出来的成绩不比第一年理想。

我时常想：现在开始，重新出发会不会太迟。

不会！俗语说：“迟到好过没到”

我知道我的死穴了：“superly good in procastinating, 不到要大便的时候都不会挖坑的人”+ “懒惰用脑”+ “斗志非常短暂，很快又恢复死气沉沉”。。。。。。

睡了整20年，是时候醒来了！

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明天，是OIPP interview 的日子， nursing manager Ms Doris 老早就吩咐我们写learning objectives 然后邮寄回给她。 我的是as following:

OIPP: Seirei Christopher University

Name: Ng Zhe Theng (085749J), NR0809

Learning Objectives

1. As Japan is famous for his well-developed science and technology, I would like to widen my horizon by getting the chance to discover the advance technology in their health care facilities, even as the simple equipment like BP set, I would like to see how advanced and convenience it is, in measuring the most accurate blood pressure of patient.

2. To explore the nursing education in Japan, to observe how Japan Nursing personnel nurture their students to become all-rounded Registered Nurses with their education system, for example the module and skills that they study and their clinical placement in different disciplines.

3. To identify the nursing practice in Japan, getting the opportunity to observe their evidence-based practice, their nursing skills in caring patients, their nursing documentation and the collaboration with other multidisciplinary healthcare team in order to set up the best care they could do for their patients.

4. To observe how nurses in Japan carry out bedside nursing care to different patients based on their culture background which affects their values and thoughts in health beliefs.

5. To understand the healthcare systems used by Japan to meet their healthcare needs, for example, the role of the government vis a vis the private sector, manpower, training and research to raise the standard of healthcare, and the policies and programmes that they invest to the citizens in order to improve their nations’ health.

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房间超级乱，琳姐看到的话肯定会气暴。

买了新相机，新元269， 我以后能捕捉难得的一刻了。

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加油啦，胖妞！

NUS (National University Of Singapore)? Will u be my next school?

One of those few days whn i was in Malaysia, i actually went back to my sec school to search back e immunisation record that i had in my schooling times as it is one of e prerequisite to go Japan attachment. To my suprise, the sch has destroyed it. What a heart attack! As a result, the teacher imitated one for me. Sigh! Our secondary school is always in a mess. Like me. haha!

Met Pn. Lam, she asked me whether I want to upgrade myself to degree level once i graduate next year. I replied to her, the only government tertiary education (cheaper in its fees since it is government sector) which NUS only does offer a 3 years BSc (nursing) and 4 years for the honours. It is just a full time course. I asked Pn Lam, whether is it worth while to do so, after plus another 3 years of full time course, i will be old in e sense that old in getting paid as an working adult ? She said it is equivalent in term of timing if u sudy STPM or A level.

Then, all this UNI thing has come to my mind, setting on and off in my mind.

-I still have 3 years bond in Tan Tock Seng Hospital. Will they allow me to freeze my bond, or are they willing to sponsor me to further study in NUS?

-If i study rite after next year + another 3 or 4 years, i can't work to earn money already, I can't wait to be responsible to my family!

-If i finish my bond then only i enter a full time course, i would be old as compared to the other youngsters

-Some miscellaneous issue, continue to be a foreigner + a student or be a PR + student?

-Uni life, i dreamed before as i was young in childhood period.

HOWEVER, what i think now is USELESS if i do not get an excellent result in diploma level. My year 2 one is suck compared to Year 1. So, i just have another year 3 to help me to pull up my overall performance.

To get my self admitted to this "high class UNI", i afraid if it is just a day-dreaming to me. One cohort of bachelor of science in nursing intake the most is 75 students only with more than 1000 applications from the A-level graduates in Singapore. Hard to COMPETE!

DREAM, another dream~~~~Still have one year to complete the exciting tough year.

Let me keep this as a DREAM first~

估计有两年像地狱般的生活

在过三天实习就快要结束了，我心里真的很慌。这次好像是我在新加坡医院实习的最后一次。

太多东西学了，偏偏自己确实一个slow learner.

开学后就是year3, 地狱般的生活开始，一个学期10+个module.第二学期就是一连串的实习。

现在CI (clinical instructor)都给了很多忠告给我们，吩咐我们从现在开始就要好好准备year3 PRCP (Pre-register Consolidation Program).

现在真的要开始每天啃书，练习skills, 熟悉医院大小步骤需要的程序。

今天老师在医院里跟我们复习一些关于blood transfusion and blood specimen 的知识，惭愧地、发现自己真的将这些小细节take for granted, 还在睡着大觉，以为自己还是新的学护。

从四月开始的我一定会忙得焦头烂耳。我的目标是到还未注册之前到ICU实习。 I SEE YOU, 不是一般的护士能扣应付得来的。

护士可以分两种，一种是只照着医訴，自己缺乏了判断性，病人问起病情只能哑口无声；二是懂得医訴背后的原理，面对病人有自己的判断力，病人问起关于病情懂得怎么解释。

我要做第二种。第一种会令我心脏病爆毙，因为万一新手医生跟我都一样这么菜的话，就死的人多咯。第二种必需捱得很干劲儿, very-up-to-date, 能够给efficient nursing care.

想起我的明天就觉得自己好像时日不多似的，估计会有两年地狱般的生活。一年是year 3, 第二年就是工作时的第一年。

忍受不了自己的菜

受不了了，连我自己也受不了自己的菜法。

救命啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

只有脸皮厚点咯~

提起精神来！！！！！！！！！！！！！

笑声背后的担忧

“矣，我的眼镜呢，去了哪里啊？可以帮我找找吗，不懂放去哪里了？”

“可能是夹在你的身体后面，试看看摸得到吗？”

“哦，找到了，哈哈，等下手术不能戴眼镜，没戴眼镜看不到东西。”

“Madam S., 做手术时身上什么都不能戴的，包括眼镜，哈哈。”

“哈哈，戴了眼镜，可以清楚地看看他们怎样帮我做。”

哈哈，太好笑了，病人和我忘我地哈哈大笑。

可是，这却掩盖不了心里的忧虑，在推去手术室的路途时，准备做ORIF(open reduction internal fixation of right femur shaft)，我见到病人流下她那担忧的眼泪。

每个人在当病人时，生命就像进入一个陌生的阶段，心里都免除不了那一份必须面对未知数的忧虑。。。。。。

Intramuscular (IM) Injection

首先我必须很惭愧地说，学了两年护理，昨天是我第一次打针（打到肌肉的针).

打这一类的针讲究勇气，速度， 和技术。

简单来说是快、狠、准。

本来星期二那天有机会打的，但是在病人前面表现得太“学生”，病人拒绝我。

说实话，那一刻拿起针头准备瞄准肌肉那一刻，我的心颤了一下，因为想到自己将会将针头插进活生生的血肉。吓到病人了，会弄疼她。

没关系，回家练习怎么打。

第二天，看到机会来了，赶紧捉紧，告诉护士我要打，护士问我有信心吗？我说在家练习一遍了。

同样是那位病人，她这一次肯，我说我在家练习一遍了。

我走“天运”，哈哈，病人第一次答应让学生动她，成功很快地插进去，但回抽看是否有回血那一刻，我捉不稳针头，那一刻弄疼了病人，成功在于没有流血，但病人觉得疼。

可是，aunty很牛，都说没关系，是她情愿当我的guinea pig.

她说让我试，告诉我疼，目的是要让我知道我的技术哪里出问题了。

今天我再检查看看她的手（昨晚有点难以入眠，因为怕打伤aunty的手），还好没事，她说不要怕，她情愿让我这头菜鸟练习就是想让我以后很骄傲而且熟手地说：“我曾经为病人打针，而且很成功。”（这是aunty 说的）

aunty, 我真的真的很谢谢你对我这么好。

感想：

除了感激还是感激，谢谢你们让我在你们身上学习护理，即便是弄疼你们，你们还是忍声吞下去。

答应你们菜鸟会努力学习护理的，以后不会再菜了。

诚心感谢我的病人们，谢谢你们给予的每一个机会。