I have an international look + PRCP

My patient said i look like Japanese because I am fair (hihi) and the way i talk (oops, maybe i apologized too much....) and to my personal view: maybe is due to my my English (I don't speak Singlish, neither am i speaking fluent English, but i always try to speak proper English with proper grammar....) makes he felt that i am?

Haha. Really? Appearance wise how can he judged. I was wearing mask. Well, i told him, i am very happy to hear that and i went to Japan bf. I am a poor-portrayed Malaysian, because I don't carry my Malaysian accent with me, unless i am with Malaysian friends together. Haha, I am mostly misunderstood to be China Chinese (frm Guang Dong...), Hong Kongner, sometimes Singaporean, even Filipino, Korean, Taiwanese, Japanese.......

...........................................

PRCP.

I have too high expectations on myself, i aimed not to commit stupid mistakes everyday when i go to hospital. And yet, everyday i will commit some.

But, yesterday i committed a serious mistake that i couldn't forgive myself. I nearly do harms on my poor pt. Luckily i was saved on time. If not, for my whole life, i will live with guilty.

My staff who saved me on time asked what is my objective coming for this PRCP, i said the major one is not to do mistakes, even for the simplest job. She said i shouldn't think in that way.

Yup, she was true. Nobody wants to commit mistakes. The more you hope not to, the more you commit.

Today, i committed some, but they were not life threatening one. Those stupid mistakes actually could be prevented, but....

provided that my brain is with me, so sad, my brain is always sabotaging me! Brain ah brain, please concentrate and have critical mind pls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or, maybe i hope to jump fast whereby i couldn't. I am overestimated myself!

Tired of going hospital, no motivation, hate meeting unfriendly staffs (dislikes this the most, i will get lost easily in front of those who are not friendly), hate of being asked: How long have you been here (isshhhhhh! not everybody is a fast learner, ok!), dislikes staffs who do not give a proper care (because i am forced to follow their style, i choose to keep quiet for their nonprofessional care because if i say something, am sure they will get mad with me, hate me and poking me behind).

Well, of course there are happy moments if i meet staffs who are friendly, willing to teach, staffs who give proper care (even though i am scolded and yelled but i am still very grateful for being precepted by this kind of professional staff). And of course the happiest moment is i can have some improvements but the satisfaction will always defeated by those stupid mistakes.

Tomorrow off for one day, so happy!