“我反对这种闹钟，因为它使我们对睡前的决定讨价还价。如果睡前认定六点起床，为什么要拖到六点二十呢？ 如果能拖到六点二十，那为何睡前和必定六点？人不能对自己妥协，想想！ 对自己几个小时前的决定尚且妥协的人，还可能对长远的理想坚持到底吗?”
“如果真的累得起不来时，都要记得狠狠地说：一天开始的第一仗就输了，怎么了得?”
2010年4月26日星期一
2010年4月24日星期六
On telling a lie that i regret
i was lying yesterday, i told a lie tht make me felt uncomfortable since e words hv popped out frm my mouth. It is really an ashamed to my own personality! Indeed, i m angry wf myself! I wonder should i blog here? but i merely want to write it out, to defend tht i m unintentionally being a deceiver.
Arghh! it is my class again. On being successfully survive for these 5 days, even though i was stabbed behind, n attacked by their "unobvious" critism, i survived without being a rude person to them. All i do is PRETEND~
It was lab session, the 2 hour slot was for us to practice the nursing skills that had been taught in this week: surgical scrubbing, gowning n gloving, n concious level chart (CLC). For the first hour, when i was practicing CLC wf my friends, one of their gang urgently ask me whether i bring my laptop. shortly, i was thinking tht i dun want to lend them, honestly speaking that i dislike to let them to use my laptop regardless of whtever reason tht they need it now!
I told a lie, a lie tht made me telling more lie to cover the first lie. A LIE THAT PORTRAYED VERY MUCH ON MYSELF, i am selfish wf a narrow heart.
I deceived tht my laptop was running low battery. Then, he asked for the charger. Well, i brought that. No choice bt to lend to them to send photo which explained why they need my laptop urgently. The truth is my laptop was almost fully charged. i opened n let them to utilise it. Gosh!!!!when i saw e "power indicator" was showing quite a high % of battery, i was nervous. Told a second lie, by having to say tht e indicator is reflecting a wrong one n nt reliable, without charger, my lappy will shut down very fast. I don't knw why i was behaving like tht.......
Subsequently, i was the one who did all e sending for them! Quite angry wf them actually. They took up my precious time to practice e skills becoz in the end after i finished wf tht, my friends had switched to another skills alrdy!!! The worse thing that freaked me was when that guy was being grateful tht he was lucky to send the picture on time, the other girl who helped him to take their portrait photo said: 'u r just lucky tht SOMEBODY bring laptop!" ISSHHHHH!! it was irritating n to my honest heart speaking:'i m unwilling to help them!!! at tht time. bt i PRETEND again.
Ok, i hv finished wf e story. in e end, instead, i am angry wf myself the most now, I was immediately falling into a big dilemma after e first lie. why? why i was like tht? why did i deceive? Why i was so sensitive in wht they said? Why don't i just say i am going to lend them n use a sincere heart of willingness to help them? Why can't i just be a generous-heart person?
Aren't you urself promised urself to own a generous heart? i breached it yesterday, for most possible reason is: i am angry wf them subconsciously.
Really, it was upsetting me, for being untruthful to myself n selfish to others.
Regret on being tht. I m sorry.
2010年4月20日星期二
DON'T F_@K ME
Dun ever f%#$@ me, i will survive far more better than u all expected,
i guess my close friends will more or less know what is actually happening, during MY SCHOOLing DAYS!
I am being PREJUDICED now, in term of sociological meaning!
sure, i dun have the right in stopping u all f-ing me, but just to tell those who f me, SILENTLY, i was angry, and i will not angry!
Positively thinking, feel appreciate tht i get to knw u all f@@k me at the back accidentally
U know, u all actually have stimulated me to be more fierce in facing the challenge year, tougher in dealing all the odds!
Anyway after all, i am specific in being myself, i must have a open heart, 宽阔和慈悲的心胸.
PLEASE KNOW ME BFORE U F ME, see carefully!
i am here to learn to be a CARING nurse, see carefully a CARING NURSE, not a nurse just bother to compete wf others bt to work as a team, nt a nurse to f_ people bt will be able to think abt other people's feeling first, nt a nurse to play smart bt lazy instead i will be a responsible one!
For this lifetime in being a human, i must be a human wf humanity.
P/s: didnt know what i was doing today, bcoz my mind was on and off with those people tht f me, so no point of getting them to invade my life, NO WAY!! NO WAY that u all can harm me. I MUST BE STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2010年4月19日星期一
FREAKING BUSY
GET "PIK CHIK" BECAUSE OF THE EGO GUY!
WHO DO U THINK U R??????
WHAT IS UR LEVEL OF POWER TO DO THE DECICIONS!!!!
wth, JUST DAY ONE ONLY
aRghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
FREAKING BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2010年4月14日星期三
2010年4月9日星期五
Youth Olympic Game-Paramedic Assistant
The first youth Olympic game , in short (YOG) is going to hold its worldwide basis sports competition in SG.
Only the NURSING STUDENTS in Singapore r given the privileges to be the assistants of trained paramedics.
i volunteer myself to be a paramedic assistance, for a few reasons,
-it is a big event with the participation of athletes from all over the world.
-free entry to watch the sports events, hahaha (actually this is the strongest reason, hahahaha)
-then, will be able to practice emergency skills to rescue casualty (the handsome n beautiful youngsters, hahahaha, wakakaka)
-benefit myself in the training which i had attended for the past three days (i am glad and feel non of the regretful, even it is tired to to and fro between hm and SG just to attend these 3 days of training, but they worth it):)
Just a little worry, because emergency ma, have to act fast, although i m just playing the role of paramedic assistant to assist the paramedic, but it is still a challenging job. It needs a lot of alertness and fast motions.
During the training, again the "bird characteristics" came out, because hard to put my self into all those pretending situations.
Not able to take photos, however the 3 days really would impress deep down into my memory.
2010年3月30日星期二
潦倒的生活-你给我去死！二十岁，迟来的开始！
想起自己在新加坡的第二年，比起第一年，斗志少了，惰性多了。
所以考出来的成绩不比第一年理想。
我时常想：现在开始，重新出发会不会太迟。
不会！俗语说：“迟到好过没到”
我知道我的死穴了：“superly good in procastinating, 不到要大便的时候都不会挖坑的人”+ “懒惰用脑”+ “斗志非常短暂，很快又恢复死气沉沉”。。。。。。
睡了整20年，是时候醒来了！
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明天，是OIPP interview 的日子， nursing manager Ms Doris 老早就吩咐我们写learning objectives 然后邮寄回给她。 我的是as following:
OIPP: Seirei Christopher University
Name: Ng Zhe Theng (085749J), NR0809
Learning Objectives
1. As Japan is famous for his well-developed science and technology, I would like to widen my horizon by getting the chance to discover the advance technology in their health care facilities, even as the simple equipment like BP set, I would like to see how advanced and convenience it is, in measuring the most accurate blood pressure of patient.
2. To explore the nursing education in Japan, to observe how Japan Nursing personnel nurture their students to become all-rounded Registered Nurses with their education system, for example the module and skills that they study and their clinical placement in different disciplines.
3. To identify the nursing practice in Japan, getting the opportunity to observe their evidence-based practice, their nursing skills in caring patients, their nursing documentation and the collaboration with other multidisciplinary healthcare team in order to set up the best care they could do for their patients.
4. To observe how nurses in Japan carry out bedside nursing care to different patients based on their culture background which affects their values and thoughts in health beliefs.
5. To understand the healthcare systems used by Japan to meet their healthcare needs, for example, the role of the government vis a vis the private sector, manpower, training and research to raise the standard of healthcare, and the policies and programmes that they invest to the citizens in order to improve their nations’ health.
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房间超级乱，琳姐看到的话肯定会气暴。
买了新相机，新元269， 我以后能捕捉难得的一刻了。
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
加油啦，胖妞！
NUS (National University Of Singapore)? Will u be my next school?
One of those few days whn i was in Malaysia, i actually went back to my sec school to search back e immunisation record that i had in my schooling times as it is one of e prerequisite to go Japan attachment. To my suprise, the sch has destroyed it. What a heart attack! As a result, the teacher imitated one for me. Sigh! Our secondary school is always in a mess. Like me. haha!
Met Pn. Lam, she asked me whether I want to upgrade myself to degree level once i graduate next year. I replied to her, the only government tertiary education (cheaper in its fees since it is government sector) which NUS only does offer a 3 years BSc (nursing) and 4 years for the honours. It is just a full time course. I asked Pn Lam, whether is it worth while to do so, after plus another 3 years of full time course, i will be old in e sense that old in getting paid as an working adult ? She said it is equivalent in term of timing if u sudy STPM or A level.
Then, all this UNI thing has come to my mind, setting on and off in my mind.
-I still have 3 years bond in Tan Tock Seng Hospital. Will they allow me to freeze my bond, or are they willing to sponsor me to further study in NUS?
-If i study rite after next year + another 3 or 4 years, i can't work to earn money already, I can't wait to be responsible to my family!
-If i finish my bond then only i enter a full time course, i would be old as compared to the other youngsters
-Some miscellaneous issue, continue to be a foreigner + a student or be a PR + student?
-Uni life, i dreamed before as i was young in childhood period.
HOWEVER, what i think now is USELESS if i do not get an excellent result in diploma level. My year 2 one is suck compared to Year 1. So, i just have another year 3 to help me to pull up my overall performance.
To get my self admitted to this "high class UNI", i afraid if it is just a day-dreaming to me. One cohort of bachelor of science in nursing intake the most is 75 students only with more than 1000 applications from the A-level graduates in Singapore. Hard to COMPETE!
DREAM, another dream~~~~Still have one year to complete the exciting tough year.
Let me keep this as a DREAM first~
2010年3月16日星期二
估计有两年像地狱般的生活
在过三天实习就快要结束了，我心里真的很慌。这次好像是我在新加坡医院实习的最后一次。
太多东西学了，偏偏自己确实一个slow learner.
开学后就是year3, 地狱般的生活开始，一个学期10+个module.第二学期就是一连串的实习。
现在CI (clinical instructor)都给了很多忠告给我们，吩咐我们从现在开始就要好好准备year3 PRCP (Pre-register Consolidation Program).
现在真的要开始每天啃书，练习skills, 熟悉医院大小步骤需要的程序。
今天老师在医院里跟我们复习一些关于blood transfusion and blood specimen 的知识，惭愧地、发现自己真的将这些小细节take for granted, 还在睡着大觉，以为自己还是新的学护。
从四月开始的我一定会忙得焦头烂耳。我的目标是到还未注册之前到ICU实习。 I SEE YOU, 不是一般的护士能扣应付得来的。
护士可以分两种，一种是只照着医訴，自己缺乏了判断性，病人问起病情只能哑口无声；二是懂得医訴背后的原理，面对病人有自己的判断力，病人问起关于病情懂得怎么解释。
我要做第二种。第一种会令我心脏病爆毙，因为万一新手医生跟我都一样这么菜的话，就死的人多咯。第二种必需捱得很干劲儿, very-up-to-date, 能够给efficient nursing care.
想起我的明天就觉得自己好像时日不多似的，估计会有两年地狱般的生活。一年是year 3, 第二年就是工作时的第一年。
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